we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
