Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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