you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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