Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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