Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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