well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
