Already got asked if we're dating
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize