Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
