he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
