I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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