I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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