Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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