You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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