You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
