I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
