I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
