That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
