just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
