Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
