shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
