if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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