They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
