new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize