Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Welp...herpes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
