pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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