drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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