she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
