Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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