Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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