We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
