Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
