I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
