he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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