I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
