how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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