they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
