My room smells like vodka and shame
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
