you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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