Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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