I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
