At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
