she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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