you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize