why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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