I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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