Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
