On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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