Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize