I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
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it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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