I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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