I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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