Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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