I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
