I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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