On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just cropdusted the office
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
