you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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