I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
