Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
