laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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