as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
