And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A+ Viking dick
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize