Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i drank out of a bidet.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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