I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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