Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
