Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I would ride that face into the sunset
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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