all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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