Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
