Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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