if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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